i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
