Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
