Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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