So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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