just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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