I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
