Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
