I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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