He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
