Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
