Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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