Rock
Scissors
Fuck
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
