if you like me you must not know who I am
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
