i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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