Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
