hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
