I seem to have left my pride at pride
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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