Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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