You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
