How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
