When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
