Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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