my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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