Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
