You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
