I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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