Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
