we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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