My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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