Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
