Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
