There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
