you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
