I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
