i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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