we're blogging at a bar
I CAN MOONWALK!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
