This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
