hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
