she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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