how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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