Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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