at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
