u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
