I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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