hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
