Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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