i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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