dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
