I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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