I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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