I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
