Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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