Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
