i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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