Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
