i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
