i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
