nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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