so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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