You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
