they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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