i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
