Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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