I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
