He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
